[ņu tātad zemāk būs daži stāstiņi no super foršājām angļu valodas stundām, kas mums bija ģimnāzijā. wāā, kā man viņas pietrūkst, tur vienmēr bija jāraksta kūūl stāstiņu un mums bija tik forša skolotāja, ka viņai patika jo trakāk, jo labāk variants. mm. pietrūkst ļoti ļoti šo izpriecu. hihi. mums ar martu vienmēr bija 10nieki. jo mēs bijām faking šīzo emo cacu kids with no moral ethics.]
1. How Johnny lost his mind.
Once upon a time there lived a little boy named Johnny. He lived in a small castle near the sea. One day he met went walking on the beach and on his way he ran into a beautiful princess. She was so beautiful he immediately fell in love with her. Johnny wanted to take her home with him but he couldn’t really afford it because he already had seven wives and a pony, although he was only 12. He chatted her up and asked what her name was. ‘Frenemy’, she said. ‘My name is Frenemy’. ‘Nice to meet you, Frenemy, would you like to come to my castle and check out my pony?’ Johnny asked. Frenemy thought about it for a moment but she realized she couldn’t go because she was barefoot and as we all know, nobody goes to look at a pony in a castle with their feet naked, so she said ‘Sure, but first, let’s get some shoes, you’ll buy me a pair won’t you?’ Johnny felt embarrased because he had run out of money the day before, he spent it all on unicorn action figures. He blushed and said that he was allergic to shoe shopping because he didn’t want to tell Frenemy that he was dirt poor at that moment. The princess shrugged and said ‘Okay, in that case, let’s par-tay!’ Johnny suggested going to his backyard. ‘I have a candy mountain there!’ Frenemy agreed so they started walking. Three minutes later they had reached the backyard. Frenemy complimented Johnny on how beautiful it was. ‘I love this place; just look at these amazing plastic flamingos! Splendid!!’ That moment she heard a soft, quiet squeak.. ‘Chaaarlieeee!’ Johnny grinned. ‘This is my pony I told you about! Chaaarlieeee!’ Frenemy smiled and gave Chaaarlieeee a light pat on the head and held her hand in the air so the friendly little creature could sniff it and get used to her. ‘He is sooo adora-OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WHAT IS HE DOING??!?!?’ Chaaarlieeee had bitten off her palm and was chewing on it looking all satisfied. Frenemy was looking at her arm in shock, and Johnny was doing the same thing. ‘I have no idea what’s gotten into CHAAARLIEEEE NOOOOO!’ he screamed because now Chaaarlieeee had jumped on Frenemy and tackled her on the ground and he was biting her neck. It was awful. There was blood everywhere, Frenemy was screaming in pain and agony, Chaaarlieeee was biting her head off and Johnny couldn’t do anything about it, because mind you, he was only 12. Finally the screams stopped... Frenemy was dead. Chaaarlieeee dragged her bloody corpse into the Candy Cave and that was the last anybody ever saw of her. Johnny was still in shock. Suddenly he fell to the ground unconscious.
...his fifth wife later found him in the corner of his bathroom, hugging himself and rocking back and forth. He couldn’t remember who he was, and not even what his name was. His nine wives tried to help him, but they failed, and a year later police found them all dead in the castle and Johnny was nowhere to be found. His case remains a mystery to this day.
2. How Peter tried to get to Canada.
Once upon a time there lived a very adventurous 9 years old boy named Peter. He always had lots of crazy ideas. One day he woke up with one extremely crazy idea. He wanted to get to Canada in any possible way. So he took his bike and went out. He thought that it was a good idea to cycle to Canada but he was wrong. He hadn’t gotten far when he ran into his friend Jane. Peter told her about his amazing idea and invited her along. They were thinking about the way to get there for hours. Finally Jane said: “Oh Peter, I have set aside some money to buy a wooden leg for my cat, because now he is living with only 3 legs.” “Yessss”, said Peter. He saw a solution right in front of them. [Emm, wait that’s a cat. Riiiiiight, look behind the cat.] “We will use your money to buy materials.!” told Peter. “What materials.?” asked Jane. “Materials to build a reactive plane,” Peter smiled. “Yes yes yes in that way we will be in Canada really soon,” said Jane, “But first we need to go and buy food for my cat, because this morning i noticed that some moron have ate it all, probably my stupid little brother Jake. Ehh, kids.”
After some time at Jane’s house..
”GODDAMIT Jane you have only 63$ and some old bubblegums in here.!” Peter shouted, “That’s not enough. We need plan B.” Then they sat down and were thinking and thinking for a really long time – emm, about 5 minutes. [yess, that’s a long time. for fuck sake we are kids you idiot – 5 minutes is a long time for us.!] Then Jane suggested: “We could hitch hike to Canada.” “Uuu, that’s a very nice idea, Jane,” said Peter, “Let’s go.!” They were standing for some 10 minutes when an old man offered them a lift. But instead of taking them to Canada he took them to dark forest. Actually that old man was a serial killer who ate kids for lunch. But while the old man was boiling water for strawberry tea, they had a chance to run away. When they somehow got home they right away started to think about new ideas how to get to Canada. They had so many plans that they even ran out of alphabet letters. But every time they kept running up against unexpected problems and shifts. But Peter and Jane never gave up. Even now they are still trying to get to Canada. [even tho’ they are now 47 years old, but still crazy like kids. Well actually I think that they are not really normal but kinda sick.] But yes, Canada – the greatest place in the world.! *sun*
3. Reeds High Suicides.
There was a Mary in 1887. Poor girl poisoned herself with some pills. There was Julie in 1901. Hang herself in her parent's bedroom. There was Emilie in 1918. Drowned herself in a pound at the back of her house. Skipping ahead some, there was Jake in 1952. Jumped out of the ninth floor window. There was also Angela in 1980. Shot herself with her uncle's gun.
Today noone really knows these stories anymore. Only the people who died or people who bothered to read about them in newspapers. Noone saw the similarities between all the suicide victims - they all went to Reeds High, they all were seniors, they all had schoolarships to go to the best universities, they all had daddy's with a lot of money and they all had popularity. So if their lives were perfect why did they killed themselves.?!
Nobody knew the answer. Perhaps even they didn't. Even Mike didn't knew it. He will be the next one and for some unknown reasons he wanted it so much even not knowing. I guess he was already tired of this nightmare that he saw every night since his little brother died. It has chased him 7 years. When he closed his eyes this dead body of his brother was always haunting him. He have tried to resist, but it was no use.
Tonight again the same, but this time he had enough. He closed his eyes and faced his dead brother who was in the dark corner watching into his eyes. Mike felt coldness and rusty fear into he back of his mind. Then he heard his low voice and followed it. He knew that he went into the hands of death, but he was sick of this nightmare so he wanted to end it so much that he didn't care of anything else. Suddenly he felt a cold, sharp steel drilling through his body. No pain just this metallic smell. He couldn't see his dead brother anymore, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't open his eyes. Nightmare was gone and so was Mike. Finally free.
At the next day students at the Reeds High read about another suicide case. This time this was Mike in 2009. Dark haired boy who sticked a steel knife through his heart. Also a letter was found next to the dead body:"Nightmares are always so charming before the end. This nightmare was finally over. Brother was gone. He was far, far away at last."
p.s. - nu tā tas šim vakaram no stāstiņiem viss. kad atradīšu pārējos tad iepostošu viņus šeit. have fun lasot un gan jau, ka tagad likšos jūms vēl psycho as parasti. :P *sun*
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